This title is proudly inspired by the famously known Cocteau Twins song. What a good song. And what a good title.
I wish you could see me strike out every time to sometime.
Sometimes when I listen to this song I think to myself confidently that I’ve know myself pretty well in my adult life. Now I have more to add to this. I can’t confidently say that I know what last year Y was like, forget Y from 5 years ago.
Does this mean I didn’t confidently know myself at 20 or 24? Wouldn’t I remember?
The part that really helps is that people remember. My friends. My family. They know who i am, at least from what we show them, who we are at every age. Based on our decisions, the way we connect with them, what we share with them. I guess based on all of that combined and our own memory we can piece together who we are at every age.
What if we knowing ourselves at every age entailed collecting data from others and ourselves. Like annual performance reviews. But not at all, just want to use that as a way to get us on the same page. Not what am I doing wrong or right but how am I doing. What am i doing. What do i want to do. How do i do it if i want to do it. Etc. etc.
Do you think this is extra? I’ll say it, I don’t think it is. The annual performance reviews, yes, but the thinking about it, no. That is truly all we get to know being alive. Ourselves. That is the one thing we can get as close to 100%, knowing ourselves. And how awesome is it that we can do that. Doesn’t matter how much money you have or don’t have. You get to really explore yourself in all different kinds of ways. I truly love it. I know that at least in the past 2 years I have felt this way, probably longer but I can’t speak confidently about it because I don’t remember what even last year me was like. I’m assuming the same? Gosh this is embarrassing.
I have felt very confident about who i am right now. Do i know what i want to do with my future? Not exactly… BUT i am kind of starting over. Or i should say that I’m starting something new. And in a way that fits with the theme of knowing who you are at every age. At this age, i know that I can’t be a therapist, at least not now. I don’t want to do that. I knew at another age that I wanted to.
Know yourself at every age, do what’s best for you. It may be different that what it was last year or even half a year ago. I think we see ourselves in different ways depending on the f**kin* day. But stable trait wise a little longer than that.
At this age I love working in a space curated for people. Talking to people, being around lovely people, getting off and doing as i please. As I please. Is that irresponsible? My mother might argue that. Money, career, success, blah blah blah. She says she gets it but i think she just accepts it as a momentary thing. But I guess it could be. Can you tell I think in circles?
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